How To Get Divorced Without People Finding Out

How To Get Divorced Without People Finding Out

How To Get Divorced Without People Finding Out

If you are considering divorce, you are probably wondering how to get divorced without people finding out. The short answer is: you can’t.

Divorce impacts more than just you and your spouse. It is inevitable that your friends and family will find out; more than likely your co-workers will find out; and if you have children, the people at his or her school will likely find out.

The important thing to understand, though, is that it’s okay for people to know you’re going through a divorce.

Divorce is a difficult and often lonely process. It may cause you to feel shame and embarrassment, but the reality is that more than 50% of the population gets divorced. You are not an island, and there are many, many others that have been in your situation before.

More than likely, you already know someone that’s been divorced. Trying to hide what you’re going through adds unnecessary stress to an already overwhelming process.

Finding someone that you can lean on and trust to provide you with emotional support during a time like this is one of the better things you can do. This may be a friend, a family member, a counselor, someone from your place of worship, etc.

You don’t have to go through all of this alone or without some kind of support.

While it’s nearly impossible to hide the fact that you are getting divorced, there are ways to keep things private. One of the best things you can do is to avoid posting or sharing things that are related to your situation on social media.

Also, just because your divorce is “public record” does not mean people can find it on Google or that it’s published in a local newspaper.

Individuals that are not attorneys of record in your case have to create an account with the state’s records system and pay various fees in order to get copies or view any documents related to your case – which people rarely do.

You are the one that is mainly in control of the information people can access, and the less you share on social media, the better chance you have at keeping things private.

Ultimately, the best way to minimize interference from others is to respectfully communicate your boundaries. You don’t owe anybody an explanation of what you are going through.

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the persistent questions of others, you have every right to tell them that you don’t feel comfortable talking about the process.

Even if they have good intentions and want to help you, you’re under no obligation to share anything with them. Instead of feeling compelled to talk to everyone about everything, use your time to focus on rebuilding your life, preparing for whatever your new “normal” may be, and healing yourself.

If you are wondering how to get divorced without people finding out and have more questions about the divorce process and what information is made public, schedule a consultation with one of our expert divorce attorneys.


Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

Five Star Review on Google

Five Star Review on Google

We just received another Five Star Client review on Google from a recent divorce client:

Alison is what’s known as a “SME” (Subject Matter Expert) in military terms. If you are Honest, Respectful and follow her sage guidance, you will prevail in court. She is worth EVERY penny. Do your part, and she will definitely do hers. You could not ask for a better attitude.

New 5 Star Client Review on Google

We just received this new 5 star client review on Google:

I went through a long and difficult contested divorce with no minor children. Alison and her team were so good at advising me throughout the process. They were patient and understanding with any issue I had. If I had questions or concerns, Alison was able to answer and put me at ease. She has a gift for being the right balance of firm and compassionate. In preparing for trial, she was knowledgeable, skilled and thorough. I would recommend her and her team to anyone for any area of family law.

10 critical pieces of paperwork you need to file divorce

10 critical pieces of paperwork you need to file divorce

10 critical pieces of paperwork you need to file divorce

A lot of divorce clients ask me, what documents do I need to get together? Here is a list of some of the most important documents you will need:

  1. Complete income tax returns, W2s, and other like documents for the last 3 years.
  2.  Year-to-date income information (such as pay stubs) for yourself and your spouse.
  3. Statements for banking and other financial accounts for the past 12 months.
  4. Statements for credit cards and other debts for the past 12 months.
  5.  If you have children, copies of the monthly out-of-pocket cost of health insurance and the number of people covered on the plan. If you have employer-provided health insurance, this may be on your pay stub.
  6. If you have children, copies of any work-related daycare expense.
  7. Deeds, appraisals, mortgages, or other like documents for all real estate.
  8. Your will and your spouse’s will.
  9. Life insurance policies for you and your spouse.
  10. Certificates of title or other ownership documents regarding any cars, boats, motorcycles, RVs, or any type of titled vehicle.

Upcoming Changes in Alimony and Taxation

Upcoming Changes in Alimony and Taxation

Under the new Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA), alimony will no longer be tax-deductible effective January 2019.  Currently, alimony or spousal support payments are deductible to the payer and taxable to the payee. This applies to all current divorce or support orders and any that are signed through December 31, 2018.  Effective January 1, 2019, in all new orders entered, alimony is not deductible to the payer or taxable to the payee.  The TCJA also specifically provides that the tax treatment of a prior alimony payment may be modified to take the new tax treatment into account, but only if the parties agree.  Modifications must specifically state that the TCJA tax treatment of alimony payments now applies.

With this deadline approaching, you may want to consider either proceeding with your divorce before the end of the year, or waiting until 2019, depending on how the taxation affects you. It may also be time for you to consider a modification of a prior order. Contact our office for a consultation if you think this applies to you.

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