First of all, what exactly is family law? Family Law is an umbrella term that applies to any type of dispute that affects families, such as divorce, child support, child custody, adoption, termination of parental rights, petitions for protection from abuse, alimony, pre and post-nuptial agreements, and more. It can also include wills, powers of attorney, health care directives, guardianships, and conservatorships.

1. Ask your family and friends

Experts currently put the divorce rate at around 39 percent, so the odds are that someone very close to you has been through a divorce. Ask them what lawyer they used and what their experience was like. Keep in mind that every person and every case is different, so the lawyer that may have been a good fit for them and their situation, may or may not be the best lawyer for you.

2. Research online

There is a wealth of information online about attorneys. If they have a website, you can learn about their background and what kind of work they do. You may also have the opportunity to read some of their writing or watch them speak in a video (like on this blog). If they do not have a website or you cannot find them online at all, that may not be a good sign.

In the Mobile, Alabama area, a lot of solo practitioners and older attorneys do not have websites, but it is not necessarily a reflection on their qualifications. It is easy for clients to post reviews about attorneys, so the process and the person is not quite as mysterious as they once were. This means it is also easy for a person who is disgruntled about their situation to hop online and blame their attorney, so online reviews need to be taken with a grain of salt too.

3. Check with the bar association

Information about attorney discipline, which is whether they have been sanctioned by the bar association for ethical violations, can now be found online at alabar.org.

4. Call their office

If you cannot get anyone on the phone or you leave a message and no one calls you back, that does not bode well for future communication and responsiveness. Some solo attorneys may not have any staff or have a small staff, so do not be alarmed if you have to leave a voicemail when you call. If you do not get a return call within 24 hours, it is probably a good idea to look elsewhere. Once you make contact, you can ask questions about consultation fees and the types of cases they take.

5. Meet with them

There is a wide mix of personalities in the legal world, just like everywhere else, so it might be a good idea to try and meet with a couple of attorneys. You will be working with this person a lot, and they may be an excellent attorney, but it is not going to work for you if you and the attorney do not mesh well.

6. Watch for red flags

An attorney can never “guarantee” a particular outcome in a case, so if the attorney is promising you the sun, moon, and stars, beware. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!

1. Not Keeping Good Records

Divorce can be a very chaotic, confusing, and stressful time. It may be more difficult than usual to remember everything that is going on or what you need to do, but ironically, it is more important than ever. A divorce case may be pending for a year or more, which only increases the difficulty. 

I ask my clients to keep a log or a journal of significant events that occur while their case is pending. It can also help jog your memory of important information you need to share with your lawyer. You also need to keep records of support payments or other matters that may be disputed, such as what days which person had the children in their care.

2. Not Maintaining Clear Communication with Your Spouse

You are getting divorced, so it is safe to say communication between you and your spouse has been a problem to one degree or another.  Also, spouses may use phone conversations as a pretext to start fights or cause conflict. 

When you communicate with your spouse about important matters, it is a good idea to keep it in writing, such as text or email, or at least memorialize it in writing.  This can be a simple as a short email that says “This will confirm we agreed you are picking Susie up this Friday at 5:00 p.m.”

3. Putting too Much Information on Social Media

Social media is great for keeping up with family and friends, sharing photos etc but it can be a trap for a lot of people. Social media is NOT the place to broadcast the details of your divorce. No matter how secure your privacy setting are, someone on your friends list will pass information about your activities on to your spouse if they think it will be helpful to them. 

When you post a rant about what a jerk your spouse it or post pictures and activities of you and the person you are having an affair with, your children will see it, your children’s teachers and friend’s parents will see it, and your boss and co-workers will see it. If you need to vent, contact a trusted friend or family member or a therapist. Keep it private!

4. Forgetting that Your Spouse is Gathering Evidence Against You

When you get divorced, you and your spouse are opposing parties in a lawsuit. They can and will use every opportunity to gather evidence to use against you. They will be saving your texts and emails. They may be audio and or video recording you. It is very easy to do on your cellphone! 

No matter how angry or upset you get, you need to keep this in mind. Do not say anything to your spouse that you would not want everyone, including the judge in your case to hear.