4 Things That Will Make Your Divorce Easier

4 Things That Will Make Your Divorce Easier

by | Aug 10, 2023 | Child Support, Custody, Divorce, Uncategorized

4 Things That Will Make Your Divorce Easier

If you are considering divorce or currently working through a divorce, this can be a stressful and tough experience. But there are several things you can do to make your divorce process easier and alleviate some of the stress.

In this article, we are going to share 4 things that will make your divorce easier. Divorce is never easy, but following these steps will help make the process better.

 

1. Hiring an Experienced Attorney

Divorce is complex regardless of whether you’re filing contested or uncontested. Contested divorces, especially ones where children are involved, require skill and knowledge of the law to navigate well.

While you may just be focused on “winning,” an attorney will be able to look at the big picture and work to negotiate the best deal possible for you and your family. Uncontested divorces require more paperwork than you think, and not having everything filed correctly the first time can cause serious delays which would result in you staying married for longer than you want to be.

Attorneys are also able to access the Courts more easily than the average person and are more familiar with their local Court system and staff, so this allows the process to be as streamlined as possible.

Overall, hiring an experienced divorce attorney allows you the benefit of using their expertise to both protect your interests and avoid costly mistakes.

 

2. Being Open to Mediation

If you are getting divorced, it does not mean that you have to fight and litigate every single issue. Mediation is an excellent method of alternative dispute resolution that allows you to come to an agreement without having to battle things out in Court.

It is not only cost-effective, as it can save you the expense of trial, but it also allows you to negotiate terms so they are more narrowly tailored to your family’s needs, especially if you have children. This may include agreements related to education expenses, large purchases like vehicles, maintaining cell phones, insurance policies, etc.

These types of agreements that anticipate future expenses may not be considered by the Court, so mediation is the best way to make sure these things are taken care of to prevent conflict down the road. Mediation may not necessarily be successful for everyone, but not giving it a chance could be detrimental to your case in the long run.

Mediation is a way to facilitate cooperation and have couples focus on coming to a resolution, rather than focus on the fight.

 

3. Having a Financial Plan

Divorce is costly. Everyone knows this. That is why having a financial plan both during and after your divorce is crucial. Sticking to a strict budget and cutting back on expenses are two ways that you can ensure that your divorce won’t break the bank.

If you have not yet filed for divorce, but know that it’s on the horizon, it’s also important to take proactive steps in getting your finances in order. Make yourself aware of your current earnings, your earning potential, how much you have in savings or set aside for retirement, your debts, and make a detailed list of all of your current monthly expenses.

Having a clear picture of your financial situation before your divorce is filed will make things much easier down the road when you’re trying to adjust to your new life financially. It will also help your attorney when the time comes to participate in settlement negotiations. Some people cannot do this on their own, though, and need the help of an accountant or financial planner – this is not a bad idea!

Finances are not easy to navigate, especially when they’ve been co-mingled with a spouse. Regardless, having a financial plan in place for yourself will ease the divorce process and alleviate some of the stressors you will encounter.

 

4. Prioritizing Your Mental Health 

Taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally should be some of your main priorities when going through a divorce. You are going through a major life transition, and your stress and anxiety levels are going to be elevated.

You do not need to allow your mental and emotional well-being to deteriorate as it will only make things more difficult. The grief of divorce is often compared to the loss of a loved one in terms of intensity. Allow yourself to process and feel all of the emotions you may experience in a healthy way instead of holding them back. Simple things like eating nourishing foods and getting enough sleep will also help you.

Also avoid negative thought patterns and blaming yourself for the breakdown of the relationship. Maintaining hobbies that you love, seeking counseling or therapy, and surrounding yourself with family and friends that support you are all ways to maintain some level of comfort and security during your divorce.

 

Conclusion

Divorce proceedings can be tough on anyone. Everyone would prefer to have a peaceful divorce. To improve your chances of a successful divorce, we recommend following these steps to make your divorce easier.

Having an experienced divorce lawyer on your side is always recommended. Especially if there are child custody or child support aspects to your divorce.

Schedule a private consultation with one of our family law attorneys

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Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

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Top 2 Mistakes Made When Getting Divorced Without An Attorney

Top 2 Mistakes Made When Getting Divorced Without An Attorney

by | Jul 24, 2023 | Alabama, Child Support, Children, Custody, Division of Assets, Divorce, Family Law, Significant Decisions, Uncategorized

Top 2 Mistakes Made When Getting Divorced Without An Attorney

What if there are no attorneys involved at all?

In recent years, there has been a proliferation of websites and services that promise they will sell you a simple and easy set of “do-it-yourself” divorce papers for as low as $99! 

Have you ever heard of that old saying – you get what you pay for?  Well, that is as true in the legal world as anywhere else. 

We have represented countless clients over the years who purchase “do-it-yourself” divorce papers from an online service only to find that the papers are not in compliance with state and local requirements. 

In Alabama, there are several other forms required along with your signed agreement when you file an uncontested divorce.  In every divorce case, the Defendant must sign an answer and waiver form, and you must prepare a proposed Judgment of Divorce order for the judge to sign. 

If you have children, there are even more forms that are required by the State of Alabama, including CS-41 income affidavit forms for both parties, CS-42 child support guidelines, and a CS-43 notice of compliance form. 

Additionally, when you have children, the agreement itself has numerous required provisions that must be included, such as that both parties must attend a parenting class, specific language for an income withholding order for child support, and the entire text of the Alabama Parent-Child Relationship Protection Act.

If you file your divorce papers with no attorneys involved, and the paperwork is incorrect, the Clerk of Court will flag the paperwork and it will not even be sent to the child until the paperwork is corrected. 

Here is the catch – the clerk of court cannot give you legal advice to explain to you how to correct the paperwork, so oftentimes clients end up hiring our office to re-file the correct paperwork after they have already had to pay for a “do-it-yourself” divorce.

If your paperwork is incorrect and your filing is flagged, the clerk will set a deadline in your case called a “disposition docket,” which means you have until that date to submit corrected paperwork. 

If you don’t meet the deadline, your case will be dismissed.  If your case gets dismissed, and you have to re-file for divorce, you will have to pay a second filing fee to the court.

The moral of the story is, if neither party has an attorney, you might end up having to pay for your divorce twice.

What if my spouse has an attorney and I don’t?

In Alabama, divorce lawyers are not ethically permitted to represent both parties in a divorce case.  Even if you agree on everything, a lawyer can only represent one party. 

I cannot begin to count all the clients I have met with over the years who have told me, “When we got divorced, we used the same attorney.”  I end up having to explain to them that that means their spouse had an attorney, and they did not. 

This type of client is typically in my office because they did not understand the agreement they signed or they are dissatisfied with it in some way.  Unfortunately for this client, there are limited circumstances under which you can change the terms of a divorce decree by an agreement that has already been entered by the court. 

Often, these clients are stuck with unfavorable terms that they agreed to because they chose to sign an agreement without getting legal advice.  Any terms of your divorce that are related to assets and debts are final when the divorce is final, and are not modifiable. 

Terms of your divorce that relate to child custody, visitation, and child support can be modified but only if there has occurred a sufficient change in circumstances since the divorce was granted.

If your spouse hires a lawyer to draft up the paperwork, your choices are either (a) get your own lawyer, or (b) proceed without a lawyer. 

If you choose to proceed without a lawyer, that means you have no one to obtain legal advice from if you have questions about what you are legally entitled to or what is fair.  Your spouse’s lawyer’s job is to do what is best for your spouse, not you.

For example, say you and your spouse jointly own your marital home together, with both of your names on the deed and mortgage. You agree your spouse can keep the house, and their lawyer draws up a divorce agreement that says you will deed the property over to your spouse. 

If you choose not to obtain your own legal advice, you may not know or understand that signing a deed will not remove your name from the mortgage. 

As stated earlier, matters related to assets and debts are not modifiable. 

This means that you are now stuck with your name on a joint mortgage with your ex-spouse!  If they make the payments late, this will hurt your credit.  Even if they make the payments on time, having your name on this mortgage may prevent you from being able to qualify for your own mortgage for years to come.

As you can see from the very common example above, even a one-time consultation with their own divorce lawyer could have saved this client from a very costly mistake.

If you are considering divorce and you’re not sure if you should hire a divorce lawyer, schedule a private consultation with one of our experienced divorce attorneys today. 

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Author: Alison Herlihy

Family law attorney Alison Herlihy is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Alison has engaged in the private practice of family law since 2005, focusing primarily on domestic relations, divorce and child support, child custody law, adoption law, juvenile, probate practice, and wills.

Alison Baxter Herlihy earned the prestigious AV Preeminent peer review rating from Martindale-Hubbell, which recognizes attorneys for the highest levels of legal ability and professional ethical standards. Alison is a certified Guardian Ad Litem. In 2015, Alison became a Registered Mediator on the Alabama State Court Mediator Roster, in both general and domestic relations mediation.  

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Do you have to pay child support if you have joint custody in Alabama?

Do you have to pay child support if you have joint custody in Alabama?

by | Jun 26, 2023 | Alabama, Child Support, Children, Custody, Divorce, Uncategorized

Do you have to pay child support if you have joint custody in Alabama?

Wondering do you have to pay child support if you have joint custody in Alabama?

First, let’s talk about what joint custody is exactly because joint custody means a lot of things to a lot of people. It is the state policy in Alabama, whether parents are divorced or have never been married, that it is in the best interests of children to have frequent and meaningful contact with both parents, as long as they are fit parents; however, joint custody does not necessarily mean equal physical custody.

Joint Legal Custody

Joint Legal Custody means both parents have equal rights and responsibilities for major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training. The court may designate one parent to have sole power to make certain decisions while both parents retain equal rights and responsibilities for other decisions.  Ala. Code 30-3-151 Definitions (Code Of Alabama (2023 Edition)).

Joint Physical Custody

Joint Physical Custody means physical custody is shared by the parents in a way that assures the child frequent and substantial contact with each parent. Joint physical custody does not necessarily mean physical custody of equal durations of time. Ala. Code 30-3-151 Definitions (Code Of Alabama (2023 Edition)). 

Although equal durations of time are not required under the law, the most common form of joint physical custody is alternating weeks, so as to promote stability for children after a divorce or after their never-married parents’ relationship is over.

In the past, there has been no set rule for how to calculate child support in a joint physical custody scenario. Joint physical custody was always considered to be a reason to deviate from what the state of Alabama guidelines call for in child support.

New Amendment in Alabama and Joint Custody

The Alabama Supreme Court has passed an amendment under the rules of Judicial Administration (ARJA Rule 32), which specifically sets out how an Alabama child support payment is to be calculated in a joint custody situation.  You can find the entire text of these amendments here:

https://judicial.alabama.gov/docs/rules/OrderonRule32AlabamaRulesofJudicialAdministration.pdf

Under the amended rules, there are specific forms and guidelines that must be followed to calculate child support in a joint physical custody arrangement.  There is a key difference between the requirements under this rule and the state statute regarding joint physical custody. 

The child support rules use the term shared physical custody, which refers to a court-ordered physical custody arrangement whereby each parent retains physical custody of a child 50% (or approximately 50%) of the time.  A scenario where parents alternate custody on a week-on, week-off basis would meet this definition.

This new rule means that there are child support guidelines that must be followed and complied with in a shared physical custody arrangement.  Although every case is different, it is likely that if one parent earns significantly more money than the other, there will be child support; whereas, if the parents make the same amount of money, there may not be child support or there may be minimal child support. 

Again, every case is different and your attorney will have to calculate child support based on the facts of your particular case.

There is also a very significant except to this new rule regarding child support and shared physical custody – if a parent wilfully fails to exercise their parenting time for more than 14 days in a 12-month period, the court may consider that failure to exercise physical custody as a material change of circumstances sufficient to support a modification of child support. 

In other words, the Court does not have to calculate child support based on shared custody if one of the parents fails to exercise their shared custody according to their court order.

If you are considering divorce, a modification of custody or support, or you are a never-married parent seeking a custody order for the first time, these new rules and regulations about joint or shared physical custody and child support are very timely because these new rules went into effect on June 1, 2023.

If you think the new rules about joint custody or shared custody and child support may apply to your situation, contact our office for a consultation.

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Author: Alison Herlihy

Family law attorney Alison Herlihy is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Alison has engaged in the private practice of family law since 2005, focusing primarily on domestic relations, divorce and child support, child custody law, adoption law, juvenile, probate practice, and wills.

Alison Baxter Herlihy earned the prestigious AV Preeminent peer review rating from Martindale-Hubbell, which recognizes attorneys for the highest levels of legal ability and professional ethical standards. Alison is a certified Guardian Ad Litem. In 2015, Alison became a Registered Mediator on the Alabama State Court Mediator Roster, in both general and domestic relations mediation.  

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3 Reasons Why Divorce is Not Bad for Your Children

3 Reasons Why Divorce is Not Bad for Your Children

by | May 25, 2023 | Child Support, Children, Custody, Divorce, Family

3 Reasons Why Divorce is Not Bad for Your Children

Wondering if there are reasons why divorce is not bad for your children? There are many proven reasons why divorce is better for your children than keeping them in the presence of a bad relationship.

Oftentimes, people who want to get divorced may choose to stay together because they think it is better for the children. Staying together versus getting divorced is not always bad for children.

 

Here are three reasons why divorce is not bad for children:

 

1) The environment is less contentious after divorce

Divorce is not bad for children because parents who are divorced can often have a better, or less contentious, relationship than parents who stay married when they shouldn’t. 

Think about it – if you think you may want to get divorced, what are the reasons why? 

Reasons you are considering divorce might involve, arguing, yelling, tension in the home, financial problems, infidelity, domestic violence, emotional or verbal abuse, or a host of addictive behaviors related to alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, or other issues. Despite your best efforts, your children will see and feel this conflict in the home. 

Children crave peace, structure, and stability in their environment. If your marriage is tumultuous, divorce may help bring more peace into your children’s lives, and yours.

 

2) Children have better role models after divorce

The number one way you teach children is not with what you say but with what you do. For this reason, divorce is not bad for your children, and to the contrary, is often a better situation for them.

Every day, you and your spouse are modeling behavior for your children, which is how your children learn how they should be treated and how to treat others in relationships. 

If your spouse is mistreating you to the point that you wish you could get divorced, consider what example it is setting for your children if you stay. Your children will be learning that both the mistreatment of a spouse and the tolerance of that behavior are normal and acceptable.

Simply by taking the appropriate action, you will be communicating to your children that mistreating your spouse is unacceptable and should never be tolerated.

 

3) High-conflict marriages result in poorer outcomes

There is now a huge amount of psychological research and literature that shows that children of divorce do not have poorer outcomes in life than children whose parents are married, but children whose parents have a high-conflict divorce do have poorer outcomes in life. 

Examples of a high-conflict divorce include things such as repeated and protected litigation, constant arguments between the parents about minor issues, expecting the children to take sides, and putting the children in the middle of adult matters and arguments. 

If you and your spouse can learn to co-parent in a peaceful and constructive manner, despite your differences which led you to divorce, your children can flourish. 

 

There are many reasons why divorce is not bad for your children. If your goal is to have a peaceful divorce that helps create a fresh start and a brighter future for you and your children, please give us a call or schedule a consultation. Our team of expert divorce attorneys is happy to help you achieve these goals for your divorce and your children.

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Author: Alison Herlihy

Family law attorney Alison Herlihy is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Alison has engaged in the private practice of family law since 2005, focusing primarily on domestic relations, divorce and child support, child custody law, adoption law, juvenile, probate practice, and wills.

Alison Baxter Herlihy earned the prestigious AV Preeminent peer review rating from Martindale-Hubbell, which recognizes attorneys for the highest levels of legal ability and professional ethical standards. Alison is a certified Guardian Ad Litem. In 2015, Alison became a Registered Mediator on the Alabama State Court Mediator Roster, in both general and domestic relations mediation.  

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What is the Difference Between Legal Custody and Physical Custody?

What is the Difference Between Legal Custody and Physical Custody?

by | Oct 9, 2020 | Custody

Alabama Code §30-3-157 is known as Alabama’s “Joint Custody” statute and it defines the different types of legal and physical custody in our state.  This statute sets out our state policy as follows:

 It is the policy of this state to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. Joint custody does not necessarily mean equal physical custody.

As you might imagine, there are a lot of misconceptions about what joint custody means versus what state law actually says.  It is for this reason that any time a client tells me they and their spouse want to agree to joint custody, I ask the question, “what does joint custody mean to you?”

Joint Custody means that the parents have both joint legal and joint physical custody.

Joint Legal Custody means both parents have equal rights and responsibilities for major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training. The court may designate one parent to have sole power to make certain decisions while both parents retain equal rights and responsibilities for other decisions.  If one parent has sole or primary physical custody, that parent ends up being the final decision-maker if there is a dispute.

Joint Physical Custody means physical custody is shared by the parents in a way that assures the child frequent and substantial contact with each parent. Joint physical custody does not necessarily mean physical custody of equal durations of time.  This is the definition according to state law.  In our jurisdiction, joint physical custody almost always refers to custody arrangements where the parenting time is shared on an equal, 50/50 basis, in some fashion.

Sole Legal Custody means one parent has sole rights and responsibilities to make major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training.  Sole legal custody is typically only ordered if the other parent is a danger to the child.

Sole Physical Custody, is more commonly referred to as “physical custody” or “primary physical custody” means one parent has sole physical custody and the other parent has rights of visitation except as otherwise provided by the court.