Common Divorce Issues in Long-Term Marriages

by Anna Eden | Jan 26, 2024 | Alabama, Division of Assets, Divorce, Family Law, Finances

Common Divorce Issues in Long-Term Marriages

Navigating the intensity of a divorce in a long-term marriage can be challenging, especially when you’ve been married to your spouse for decades.

Untangling your life from your spouse’s can be strenuous and emotionally draining because your assets and debts have become deeply intertwined and your familial bonds have solidified.

At Herlihy Family Law, our team of professional divorce attorneys has all the necessary tools to help you take the next steps with clarity and confidence.

Separation of Deeply Entangled Assets

In long-term marriages, financial entanglement goes beyond basic shared assets like real estate and bank accounts. Other common marital assets subject to division are vehicles, retirement accounts, pensions, tax credits or refunds, investments, and family-owned businesses.

Alabama is an equitable distribution state – i.e. things don’t automatically get split down the middle 50/50. The court will determine what a fair distribution is based on the facts and circumstances of a case.

With long-term marriages, judges have more discretion on how to divide assets and debts. Part of these considerations include who contributed more on the front end and which spouse needed the most assistance at the time of the separation.

Alimony

Another crucial component of divorce for parties in a long-term marriage is spousal support or alimony. In Alabama, alimony is not a given but is largely dependent on the circumstances of the case.

Alabama judges have complete discretion over the issue of alimony. Alimony awards are going to be most common in a long-term marriage when one spouse has been financially dependent on the other for all or at least a significant part of the marriage.

Other factors the court will consider are the earning ability of the spouses; the property awards and value of each spouse’s estate; the health and age of the parties; and in some cases, marital misconduct by either spouse, including adultery.

The two most common awards of alimony are rehabilitative and periodic. Rehabilitative alimony is short-term support used as a mechanism to help one spouse transition back to the workforce when he or she has a significant earning capacity.

Periodic alimony is a specific payment that is made on a specified, periodic basis. The circumstances in which periodic alimony terminates are when the receiving spouse either remarries, cohabitates with a romantic partner, or dies.

In Alabama, alimony is always modifiable, whether rehabilitative or periodic, upon a showing of a material change in circumstances.

Emotional Distress on the Whole Family

The emotional toll of ending a long-term marriage cannot be understated. Having shared a significant portion of your life with someone, the process of separating it can be daunting and terrifying. The heartache you will feel is inevitable.

It is no surprise that people say going through a divorce is the same as losing a loved one. You are actively mourning the loss of a significant part of your life!

This is especially hard for individuals in a long-term marriage because their family ties have been solidified for years and years. Their families have co-mingled for so long that divorce doesn’t just impact the parties themselves. Their larger family unit can be just as devastated.

Disconnecting from in-laws and relatives who have provided you with childcare, friendship, emotional support, or guidance is no easy feat.

Whether you have children or not, maintaining these extended family relationships may be important to you. You and your extended family can mitigate the impact of divorce by finding reassurance that it is a shared experience. And the relationship can endure through mutual respect and open communication.

Separation of Social Lives

Divorce can also impact your social circles and personal identity. Couples spend years building mutual friendships and shared hobbies.

A divorce means not only dividing assets and responsibilities but also reshaping your social life. One common change in social circles after divorce is a shift in mutual friends.

Often, couples tend to have shared friends who may feel caught in the middle or unsure how to remain connected with both individuals.

Communication is always key. Be open and honest with your friends about what you’re going through. Let them know if you need space or if you want their support. It’s okay to lean on them during this difficult time.

Some friends may choose sides or feel uncomfortable maintaining relationships with both parties. This can lead to an inevitable reevaluation of one’s social circle and potentially the loss of friendships.

Grief over lost friendships is normal and should be acknowledged; however, it’s also essential not to dwell on what was lost but instead focus on building healthier relationships moving forward.

Divorced individuals may find themselves seeking out new connections and support systems outside their previous circle. This could mean joining new clubs or organizations, attending events related to personal interests, or even exploring online communities where they can connect with others going through similar experiences.

Finding support and building a strong social circle post-divorce can be a challenging but essential part of moving forward in your life.

_DevinFord-HerlihyFamilyLaw-03202023061RTcrop

Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

Read Full Bio

Understanding the Role of a Guardian ad Litem in Divorce and Custody Cases

by Anna Eden | Dec 1, 2023 | Children, Custody, Divorce, Family Law, Uncategorized

Understanding the Role of a Guardian ad Litem in Divorce and Custody Cases

Most people are not familiar with the role of a guardian ad litem in a divorce or child custody case. In this article, we will explain the role of a guardian ad litem and discuss the benefits of having a guardian ad litem.

1. What is a Guardian ad Litem?

A Guardian ad Litem is a licensed attorney who is appointed by the Court to represent the best interests of minor children in divorce and custody disputes.

A Guardian ad Litem, often simply referred to as a “GAL”, will have extensive knowledge and experience in practicing family law.

Judges will appoint GALs that they know and trust to be neutral in whatever the pending matter may be, while also advocating for the needs and best interests of the minor children involved.

GALs do not represent the parents in the case and cannot give them legal advice.

Both parties in a case will typically be equally responsible for the costs of a GALs service in a case, absent some kind of extraordinary circumstances.

2. What are the duties of a Guardian ad Litem?

GALs have several different responsibilities. Once they are appointed to a case, they are tasked with meeting and interviewing both of the parties, as well as the minor children.

They will take notes, review all the pleadings that have been filed, and familiarize themselves with the case and the issues at hand.

Depending on the length of your case, GALs will likely have multiple meetings or check-ins with everyone involved; on some occasions, they may even do home visits if the circumstances warrant them.

The Guardian ad Litem also has the duty of recommending to the court what they believe would be an appropriate temporary visitation/custody schedule while a case is pending.

This is why Judges appoint attorneys to this role who are experienced in family law matters.

Sometimes, the temporary visitation schedule that the GAL recommends becomes the parties’ permanent arrangement, but ultimately, the Judge makes all final decisions.

The GAL will also be present during every trial and hearing and has the opportunity to ask witnesses questions just as the parties’ attorneys do.

GALs are also prohibited from having ex parte communications with the court – meaning they cannot have private one-on-one meetings with the Judge.

Ultimately, the Guardian ad Litem’s role is to advocate for their client, just like any other attorney.

3. What are the benefits of having a Guardian ad Litem?

Guardian ad Litems can be tremendously helpful for your case. Beyond the role of advocating for children, GALs can also help remedy disputes about visitation that arise during a case that might otherwise require the filing of a motion with the court.

This saves the parties’ money and the Court’s time – a win for everyone. GALs also serve as your child’s voice during a case.

Though custody and visitation are not solely based on what the child wants, their preferences are one of the many factors considered, and a GAL is the individual who is able to share those opinions with the court.

Parents are also strongly discouraged from discussing their divorce or custody case with their children, regardless of their age. GALs are able to step in and answer any questions your children may have about what is going on and can best explain to them what the process is.

It is in everyone’s best interest for your children to have a good relationship with and trust in their GAL.

At Herlihy Family Law, all of our attorneys have experience serving as Guardian ad Litems in both Circuit Court and Juvenile Court in Mobile County.

Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

Read Full Bio

How Long Does a Divorce Take? Essential Information Explained.

by Anna Eden | Oct 17, 2023 | Child Support, Custody, Division of Assets, Divorce

How Long Does a Divorce Take? Essential Information Explained.

One of the most frequently asked questions in a divorce consultation is, “How long does a divorce take?” and the answer to that question varies based on several factors.

The type of divorce you’re filing, the amount of assets you have, whether child custody is involved, and if there are related criminal charges pending all play a major role in determining how much time your divorce process will take.

Uncontested Divorce vs Contested Divorce

The number one factor in determining the answer to “How long does a divorce take” is whether you’ll be filing for an uncontested divorce or a contested divorce.

Uncontested divorces, in the simplest terms, are ones where the parties agree on everything up front, so the only time involved is how long it takes to draft the necessary paperwork plus the statutory 30-day waiting period after filing. All in all, a true uncontested divorce can be fully resolved within 6 to 10 weeks.

If you are filing a contested divorce, then the time it takes for everything to be finalized is more complex due to aspects like child custody and child support. Some divorces start as contested, but the parties are able to reach a settlement relatively soon after filing.

These cases could end up being resolved within a matter of months. In other cases, however, parties will not be able to agree and will need a trial. These cases could take anywhere between 10 to 15 months to resolve.

This is because there are many “phases” of contested divorces, the longest and most necessary being the discovery phase. Discovery alone can take 3 to 6 months to complete depending on the amount of information needed in a case, including obtaining this information via subpoenas or depositions if the exchange of paper discovery is not enough.

Generally speaking, the complexity of your case is going to determine the amount of time it takes. On average, a contested divorce will take about 1 year to be completely resolved.

Criminal Charges

Unfortunately, some divorce filings stem from criminal actions, or criminal activity may occur while a divorce is pending. The most common criminal charge associated with a divorce is domestic violence in some form.

When there is a criminal charge pending that is substantially related to a pending divorce case, the defendant in the criminal matter has the right to request the Court to stay the divorce proceedings, and the Court almost always grants the request.

This is because the accused party has a 5th Amendment right against self-incrimination, even in a civil matter like a divorce, and any information obtained during the divorce proceedings could be used against them in the criminal case.

When a divorce is stayed for a criminal matter, the divorce will remain pending with no activity until the criminal case is completely resolved. Depending on the severity of the charge(s), the stay can be in place for a few months to a year or more.

During the stay, your divorce case will be placed on the Court’s Admin Docket and the parties will be required to update the Court on the status of the criminal case every few months.

Case Management Conferences and Disposition Dockets

For residents of Mobile County, our domestic relations judges have put into place two systems to ensure that cases on their dockets move at a steady pace and do not “fall through the cracks.”

The Case Management Conference (“CMC”) is a virtual meeting set by the Court in the Pre-Trial Order. Attendance at the CMC may be waived if lawyers or unrepresented parties file a Status Report with the Court at least 24 hours prior to the CMC that describes the following: whether a good faith effort has been made to settle the case; whether discovery is completed, or an estimate of time necessary to complete discovery, if it is not; whether the case is ready for trial; the estimated time required for the final hearing/trial; identification of all unresolved issues to be tried; whether the case requires an immediate hearing and the reason(s) for the urgency; and the email addresses for all unrepresented parties (if known, applicable, or ascertainable). After the CMC, the case will either be set for trial or placed on the Court’s Disposition Docket.

The Disposition Docket is similar to the Admin Docket described above. It is also administrative in nature so that the Courts can keep up with the active cases on their docket. It is not a hearing or trial date to appear in Court.

It is simply a placeholder date for the attorneys to check in with the Court via appropriate motion regarding the present status of the case; i.e., is more time needed for discovery, are the parties attempting mediation or in settlement negotiations, or is the case ready for trial.

Cases are typically set out on Disposition Dockets for 30-90 days at a time. The Courts use the Disposition Docket to track how long a case has been pending. If a case has been pending for almost a year, then typically the Court will notify the attorneys and parties involved that the case will not be set over to the next Disposition Docket and will set the case for trial.

This is because the Courts have just as much of an interest in making sure your divorce case is moving at a steady, efficient pace toward final resolution as you do.

At Herlihy Family Law, it is our goal to guide you out of and through a negative life situation and to a new future for yourself and your children as efficiently as possible. While there isn’t a clear answer to “How long does a divorce take”, hopefully, this gives you a better idea of the factors involved.

Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

Read Full Bio

4 Things That Will Make Your Divorce Easier

by Anna Eden | Aug 10, 2023 | Child Support, Custody, Divorce, Uncategorized

4 Things That Will Make Your Divorce Easier

If you are considering divorce or currently working through a divorce, this can be a stressful and tough experience. But there are several things you can do to make your divorce process easier and alleviate some of the stress.

In this article, we are going to share 4 things that will make your divorce easier. Divorce is never easy, but following these steps will help make the process better.

1. Hiring an Experienced Attorney

Divorce is complex regardless of whether you’re filing contested or uncontested. Contested divorces, especially ones where children are involved, require skill and knowledge of the law to navigate well.

While you may just be focused on “winning,” an attorney will be able to look at the big picture and work to negotiate the best deal possible for you and your family. Uncontested divorces require more paperwork than you think, and not having everything filed correctly the first time can cause serious delays which would result in you staying married for longer than you want to be.

Attorneys are also able to access the Courts more easily than the average person and are more familiar with their local Court system and staff, so this allows the process to be as streamlined as possible.

Overall, hiring an experienced divorce attorney allows you the benefit of using their expertise to both protect your interests and avoid costly mistakes.

2. Being Open to Mediation

If you are getting divorced, it does not mean that you have to fight and litigate every single issue. Mediation is an excellent method of alternative dispute resolution that allows you to come to an agreement without having to battle things out in Court.

It is not only cost-effective, as it can save you the expense of trial, but it also allows you to negotiate terms so they are more narrowly tailored to your family’s needs, especially if you have children. This may include agreements related to education expenses, large purchases like vehicles, maintaining cell phones, insurance policies, etc.

These types of agreements that anticipate future expenses may not be considered by the Court, so mediation is the best way to make sure these things are taken care of to prevent conflict down the road. Mediation may not necessarily be successful for everyone, but not giving it a chance could be detrimental to your case in the long run.

Mediation is a way to facilitate cooperation and have couples focus on coming to a resolution, rather than focus on the fight.

3. Having a Financial Plan

Divorce is costly. Everyone knows this. That is why having a financial plan both during and after your divorce is crucial. Sticking to a strict budget and cutting back on expenses are two ways that you can ensure that your divorce won’t break the bank.

If you have not yet filed for divorce, but know that it’s on the horizon, it’s also important to take proactive steps in getting your finances in order. Make yourself aware of your current earnings, your earning potential, how much you have in savings or set aside for retirement, your debts, and make a detailed list of all of your current monthly expenses.

Having a clear picture of your financial situation before your divorce is filed will make things much easier down the road when you’re trying to adjust to your new life financially. It will also help your attorney when the time comes to participate in settlement negotiations. Some people cannot do this on their own, though, and need the help of an accountant or financial planner – this is not a bad idea!

Finances are not easy to navigate, especially when they’ve been co-mingled with a spouse. Regardless, having a financial plan in place for yourself will ease the divorce process and alleviate some of the stressors you will encounter.

4. Prioritizing Your Mental Health

Taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally should be some of your main priorities when going through a divorce. You are going through a major life transition, and your stress and anxiety levels are going to be elevated.

You do not need to allow your mental and emotional well-being to deteriorate as it will only make things more difficult. The grief of divorce is often compared to the loss of a loved one in terms of intensity. Allow yourself to process and feel all of the emotions you may experience in a healthy way instead of holding them back. Simple things like eating nourishing foods and getting enough sleep will also help you.

Also avoid negative thought patterns and blaming yourself for the breakdown of the relationship. Maintaining hobbies that you love, seeking counseling or therapy, and surrounding yourself with family and friends that support you are all ways to maintain some level of comfort and security during your divorce.

Conclusion

Divorce proceedings can be tough on anyone. Everyone would prefer to have a peaceful divorce. To improve your chances of a successful divorce, we recommend following these steps to make your divorce easier.

Having an experienced divorce lawyer on your side is always recommended. Especially if there are child custody or child support aspects to your divorce.

Schedule a private consultation with one of our family law attorneys

Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

Read Full Bio

How To Get Divorced Without People Finding Out

by Anna Eden | Jun 16, 2023 | Alabama, Children, Divorce, Family, Family Law, Legal Advice, Mobile, Uncategorized

How To Get Divorced Without People Finding Out

If you are considering divorce, you are probably wondering how to get divorced without people finding out. The short answer is: you can’t.

Divorce impacts more than just you and your spouse. It is inevitable that your friends and family will find out; more than likely your co-workers will find out; and if you have children, the people at his or her school will likely find out.

The important thing to understand, though, is that it’s okay for people to know you’re going through a divorce.

Divorce is a difficult and often lonely process. It may cause you to feel shame and embarrassment, but the reality is that more than 50% of the population gets divorced. You are not an island, and there are many, many others that have been in your situation before.

More than likely, you already know someone that’s been divorced. Trying to hide what you’re going through adds unnecessary stress to an already overwhelming process.

Finding someone that you can lean on and trust to provide you with emotional support during a time like this is one of the better things you can do. This may be a friend, a family member, a counselor, someone from your place of worship, etc.

You don’t have to go through all of this alone or without some kind of support.

While it’s nearly impossible to hide the fact that you are getting divorced, there are ways to keep things private. One of the best things you can do is to avoid posting or sharing things that are related to your situation on social media.

Also, just because your divorce is “public record” does not mean people can find it on Google or that it’s published in a local newspaper.

Individuals that are not attorneys of record in your case have to create an account with the state’s records system and pay various fees in order to get copies or view any documents related to your case – which people rarely do.

You are the one that is mainly in control of the information people can access, and the less you share on social media, the better chance you have at keeping things private.

Ultimately, the best way to minimize interference from others is to respectfully communicate your boundaries. You don’t owe anybody an explanation of what you are going through.

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the persistent questions of others, you have every right to tell them that you don’t feel comfortable talking about the process.

Even if they have good intentions and want to help you, you’re under no obligation to share anything with them. Instead of feeling compelled to talk to everyone about everything, use your time to focus on rebuilding your life, preparing for whatever your new “normal” may be, and healing yourself.

If you are wondering how to get divorced without people finding out and have more questions about the divorce process and what information is made public, schedule a consultation with one of our expert divorce attorneys.

Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.

Read Full Bio