If you are considering divorce, you are probably wondering how to get divorced without people finding out. The short answer is: you can’t.

Divorce impacts more than just you and your spouse. It is inevitable that your friends and family will find out; more than likely your co-workers will find out; and if you have children, the people at his or her school will likely find out.

The important thing to understand, though, is that it’s okay for people to know you’re going through a divorce.

Divorce is a difficult and often lonely process. It may cause you to feel shame and embarrassment, but the reality is that more than 50% of the population gets divorced. You are not an island, and there are many, many others that have been in your situation before.

More than likely, you already know someone that’s been divorced. Trying to hide what you’re going through adds unnecessary stress to an already overwhelming process.

Finding someone that you can lean on and trust to provide you with emotional support during a time like this is one of the better things you can do. This may be a friend, a family member, a counselor, someone from your place of worship, etc.

You don’t have to go through all of this alone or without some kind of support.

While it’s nearly impossible to hide the fact that you are getting divorced, there are ways to keep things private. One of the best things you can do is to avoid posting or sharing things that are related to your situation on social media.

Also, just because your divorce is “public record” does not mean people can find it on Google or that it’s published in a local newspaper.

Individuals that are not attorneys of record in your case have to create an account with the state’s records system and pay various fees in order to get copies or view any documents related to your case – which people rarely do.

You are the one that is mainly in control of the information people can access, and the less you share on social media, the better chance you have at keeping things private.

Ultimately, the best way to minimize interference from others is to respectfully communicate your boundaries. You don’t owe anybody an explanation of what you are going through.

If you find yourself overwhelmed by the persistent questions of others, you have every right to tell them that you don’t feel comfortable talking about the process.

Even if they have good intentions and want to help you, you’re under no obligation to share anything with them. Instead of feeling compelled to talk to everyone about everything, use your time to focus on rebuilding your life, preparing for whatever your new “normal” may be, and healing yourself.

If you are wondering how to get divorced without people finding out and have more questions about the divorce process and what information is made public, schedule a consultation with one of our expert divorce attorneys.

Author: Anna Eden

Attorney Anna Eden is a native of Mobile, Alabama. Prior to joining Herlihy Family Law, Anna worked as a law clerk for Circuit Court Judges Michael Windom and Michael Sherman. It was during her time clerking for Judge Sherman that Anna discovered her passion for helping people navigate the complex and emotional issues involved in family law.

Anna aids in the representation of individuals across a variety of family law issues, including divorce and child support, juvenile law, child custody law, probate, and wills.