How to Prepare for Your First Consultation with a Family Law Attorney

How to Prepare for Your First Consultation with a Family Law Attorney

How to Prepare for Your First Consultation with a Family Law Attorney

What’s the goal?

Once you’ve booked an appointment with a family law attorney, you’ll want to prepare for your meeting.  Start by thinking long-term.  What is your goal here?  What do you want your life to look like in a year?  Think concretely about it.  Visualize the outcome.  Knowing your destination is essential to starting the journey, right?  So start there.

 

How will you get there? 

Once you have a goal in mind, consider what the journey will look like.  You may have to make compromises or sacrifices to achieve your goal – whether that’s a divorce or a new custody arrangement.  What are you willing to give up to make it happen?  What will you absolutely not give up?  What matters the most to you?  Our attorneys can help you understand what is possible – or impossible – in the current court system. 

 

What is your financial big picture?

On a more practical level, assess your financial situation.  Do you own a house?  Find out who is on the mortgage, and who is on the deed (these don’t always match).  Pull your credit report and make a list of all of your debts.  Get recent statements for credit cards, bank accounts, and retirement accounts.  In a divorce, the goal is an equitable division of assets, so you want to have the big picture in mind regarding assets and debts. You can check your tax returns for you and your spouse’s annual income – each party’s income is an important part of the picture.  Pretty much everybody that comes in needs to have their financial information at hand.  If you’re not coming in for a divorce, assets are less important than income, which is the primary factor in child support calculations.  You don’t need to provide these documents at a consultation, but you’ll use the information to fill out our Client Information Sheet.

 

What documents should you provide?

We may need you to send a few documents, depending on the reason you’re coming to see us.

  • If you’ve already been to court, we need to see the orders currently in place.  If you have lost your hard copy, you can get copies of them for a modest fee from the clerk’s office of the court that entered your order.
  • If you’ve been served papers but have not yet been to court, we’ll need copies of those.  Closely read the instructions on those documents.  Deadlines to respond start running from the day you were served.  You may also have been served with a pretrial or status quo order that tells you what you can and cannot do regarding financial accounts, payment of regular bills and expenses, and even visitation with the children.
  • If you’re coming to discuss a post-divorce matter, we’ll need your Judgment of Divorce and any other subsequent orders that have been entered if you have already been back to court after your divorce was final.. 
  • For custody and child support matters involving never-married parents, we’ll need your current orders (if any).
  • If you’re coming for a Prenuptial or PostNuptial Agreement, be sure to talk to your partner ahead of time so you have a good idea of what the terms will be.  You’ll still need the financial details for these. 

  • If your spouse has presented you with a proposed divorce agreement that they want you to sign, we need a copy of that so we can properly advise you.

Sometimes people want to send us hundreds of files of evidence of their partner’s wrongdoing, or all of their documents from a previous court case, or a report from a private investigator, for example. We don’t need all of that at a consultation, so just hang onto that information until later in the process.   

If you don’t have access to a scanner, you can use your cellphone camera to scan documents and convert them to a PDF file either directly through the camera app or by downloading a free scanner app.  Places such as Office Depot and the UPS Store can scan documents for you. Your local library probably has scanners you can use, as well. You’ll want to confirm that with your nearby branch. However, most phones have a scan option.  Sending scans is much better than sending photos.  Please don’t send photos!  They are often hard to read, and are usually much larger files than .pdfs.  For Androids, use your Google Drive app.  For iPhones, use the Notes app. 

 

Fill out your pre-appointment information!

At Herlihy Family Law, we send every client a Client Information Sheet in advance of their consultation.  You’ll use the link in this form to upload the documents mentioned above. 

We require that it be filled out by the day before, so that the attorney you are meeting with will be able to review this before your meeting.  You only have an hour, so give us the information ahead of time and the attorney will spend it giving legal advice, not reading your documents or having to ask you the questions that are on the information sheet.  We understand that you may not have all of the information to hand, but fill it out to the best of your knowledge.  Know that everything you tell us is absolutely confidential. Sometimes people are uncomfortable with sharing financial data, and we get that.  We wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t essential.   

 

Prepare to be truthful. 

On that note, plan to be open and honest at your consultation.  We may not have heard it all, but we’ve heard a lot. Don’t be embarrassed about difficulties in your relationships.  We certainly don’t need all of the details, but if something led to the rift between you and your partner, let us know.  That might be an addiction, infidelity, or abuse, for example, but of course sometimes people just don’t want to be together any more.  We can help, either way.  Rest assured, we will absolutely not be sharing your private information.

 

What questions do you have?

Once you’ve got your destination in mind, your information gathered, and your forms filled out, you need to start thinking about what questions you have.  Start a list – on paper, or in your phone, whatever works for you.  Keep that list handy so that you can add to it as questions arise.  Bring your list to your appointment and bring something to take notes with – again, paper, phone, whatever you are most comfortable with.  We can’t promise to answer all of your questions in your first meeting – legal questions are often answered with the phrase, “It depends.”  We should be able to answer a lot of them, though. There also may be other blog posts here on the website that answer your questions.  Take a look at those, and check out our new podcasts. 

 

Move forward!

Sometimes it’s hard to make that first phone call to book a consultation.  It’s a first step in a complex process.  If you want to call, we can get started on the phone, but if it’s easier to fill out a form, use the “Request a Consultation” button on the homepage to start the process.  We’re here to help you move forward.

Jill Chancey - Legal Intake Specialist

Author: Jill Chancey

Jill Chancey is a New Orleans native who has called Mobile home since 2019.  She attended Trinity University in San Antonio, majoring in Art History and English.  She also has an MA and a PhD in Art History.  After earning a certificate in Paralegal Studies, she pivoted to the legal profession after several decades as an art historian.  In her free time she enjoys science fiction, art museums, and collecting and reselling vintage design.

How you can make divorce easier on your kids

How you can make divorce easier on your kids

How you can make divorce easier on your kids

The number one predictor of whether children fare well after a divorce or not is whether a divorce is a “high conflict” divorce.  A high-conflict divorce is one that is marked by conflict for the sake of conflict; preoccupation with assigning blame, being “right,” and winning at all costs; and manipulation or even outright abuse.  When someone has a high-conflict personality, they will not think twice about using the children to get what they want, even at a cost to the children.  When children experience a high-conflict divorce, they are more likely to have substance abuse problems and experience mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety, and less likely to finish college or have children of their own.

The first way to make a divorce easier on the kids is to leave them out of it!  Do not involve your children in adult matters, either directly or indirectly.  You may think that your children are not listening to your conversations with other adults or do not understand, but they are and they do. Do not use your children as messengers and try to avoid arguing in front of them.

The second way is to get some advice on how to have age-appropriate discussions with your kids about the divorce.  Both Mobile and Baldwin Counties require parents to participate in a class about helping children cope with divorce, so you can get some helpful tips there.  You could also seek the advice of their school counselor or a therapist who works with children.

Lastly, always remind your children that they are not the cause of the divorce, that you love them and that will not change, even if you and the other parent have two different households.  This may seem obvious, but divorce is hard and the stress can sometimes make you lose sight of what is most important – your children.

Can you move out of your house during a divorce?

Can you move out of your house during a divorce?

Can you move out of your house during a divorce?

Moving out is one of the most common questions we receive, but the answer is not as simple as you might think.  Many people think that moving out in the middle of a divorce constitutes “abandonment,” but this is a misconception.  The legal definition of abandonment, pursuant to Alabama law, is voluntary abandonment from bed and board for one year next preceding the filing of the complaint.  This means that simply moving out does not constitute “abandonment” as a fault ground for divorce under the law.  You do not forfeit any assets or any legal right in the marital home because you move out.

This being said, the courts in our area all enter status quo orders when a divorce is filed which basically provides that the parties shall continue to pay their bills and expenses in the same ways and from the same sources as they did prior to filing for a divorce.  This means that many people cannot move out because they cannot financially afford to while also maintaining the status quo regarding the payment of bills.

If children are involved, things get more complicated.  If custody of the children is an issue in your case, your spouse probably will not agree to you moving out and taking the children with you.  If you want to be awarded custody of your children, it is not advisable that you move out and leave the children with your spouse because that creates the appearance that you are essentially agreeing for them to have custody of the children.  Courts can potentially hear requests for temporary custody while a divorce is pending, but they often will not award the same absent an emergency or safety issue.  Often, when both parents want custody of the children, they end up having to live together until their divorce is concluded unless they can reach an agreement about temporary custody and visitation.

How long does a divorce take in Mobile, Alabama?

How long does a divorce take in Mobile, Alabama?

How long does a divorce take in Mobile, Alabama?

Wondering how long divorce takes in Mobile, Alabama? This article with give you a better idea of how long the process takes and what you can expect.

Uncontested and Contested

There are basically two main pathways to getting a divorce: uncontested and contested.

An uncontested divorce means the parties are able to reach an agreement on all terms, including custody, visitation, child support, and division of assets and debts.  Typically, one party will hire an attorney to draft the agreement which is sent to the opposing party. The opposing party can either choose to be unrepresented and sign the agreement, or they can consult with their own attorney to advise them.  One attorney is not allowed to represent both parties.  Both parties then sign the agreement setting out their agreed-upon terms, and the agreement is filed with the court. There is no case pending with the court until the agreement itself is filed.  No one is “served” and no one appears in court or goes in front of a judge in an uncontested divorce. The agreement has to be on file for 30 days, then the judge will grant your divorce.

A contested divorce means one party files a complaint for divorce with the court and the opposing party is personally served by a sheriff or private process server with the complaint and a summons, which is a notice to respond. In almost every contested divorce case, the parties conduct discovery, which means both parties will have to answer questions and provide documents relevant to the divorce, such as financial information. Once discovery is complete, the divorce case can then be set for trial.  In Mobile County, the average time frame that it takes a contested divorce to go to trial is 6 to 12 months.

Do you always have to go in front of a judge?

No!  As explained above, an uncontested divorce is submitted on the agreement of the parties and you never have to go to court.  Even if a case starts out as a contested case, the majority of cases still settle out of court, either by submitting a written agreement or by participating in mediation which then results in a written agreement being submitted.  For more information about mediation, please see one of our mediation blog posts. As long as both parties are willing to be fair, it is almost always in your best interests to settle your case without going to trial because you can craft your own solution that is best suited to your family’s needs.

Mobile Child Custody and Visitation Cases where the Parents Have Never Been Married to Each Other

Mobile Child Custody and Visitation Cases where the Parents Have Never Been Married to Each Other

In Mobile County, all child custody and visitation cases where the parents have never been married to each other are heard in Juvenile Court by a District Court Judge.  For many years, this judge was the Hon. George Brown.  Effective January 2023, Judge Brown has retired and his replacement is the Hon. Linda Jensen.

Judge Jensen has issued an updated standard visitation schedule, which represents a significant expansion of visitation from the former schedule that has been in place for the past decade or longer.  If you are a never-married parent with a custody and visitation issue with your child and you have never been to court, this will affect the outcome of your case.  If you have been to court before and have a court order already, it may be time for you to consider a modification.  For more information, please contact our office to schedule a consultation.

Here is Judge Jensen’s standard visitation schedule:

Standard in-town visitation

Weekday: alternate Thursdays following the weekend when the non-custodial parent exercises visitation from the time the child(ren) gets out of school on Thursday until Friday when the child(ren) is scheduled to return to school. In the event the child(ren) does not have school during the weekday visit, then it shall begin at 3:00 p.m. on Thursday and end at 8:00 a.m. on Friday.

Weekend: alternate weekends from Thursday at 6:00 p.m. until Sunday at 6:00 p.m.
(The Court does note that specific holiday visitation set out below takes priority over the alternate weekend visitations; so, when there is a conflict between an alternate weekend visitation and the specific holiday award, whoever is awarded the specific holiday can have the child(ren) during the holiday time and the alternate weekend time does not have to be made up later.)

Thanksgiving: alternate Thanksgivings with the minor child(ren) beginning with Thanksgiving in odd-numbered years. (The primary custodial parent shall have alternate Thanksgivings with the minor child beginning with Thanksgiving in even-number years.) The time shall be from 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday until the following Sunday at 6:00 p.m.

Spring Break: Spring Break holiday in even-numbered years. (The parent with primary physical custody shall have Spring Break in odd-numbered years.) The time shall be from Friday at the start of the Spring Break week at 6:00 p.m. until the Sunday after Spring Break week at noon.

Summer: The last two weeks (14 days) of June and the last two weeks (14 days) of July. (The custodial parent shall have the first two weeks of June and the first two weeks of July as custodial periods, uninterrupted by the normal mid-week visit).

Christmas: In even numbered years, from 9:00 a.m. on December 18th until 6:00 p.m. on December 25th, and in odd numbered years, from 6:00 p.m. on December 25th until 6:00 p.m. on the following January 2nd. The parent with primary physical custody shall have the opposite.

Other: In addition, the child shall be with the mother on Mother’s Day weekend and with the father for Father’s Day weekend, from Friday at 6:00 p.m. until Sunday at 6:00 p.m.

This is the minimum and not the maximum visitation. The parties are encouraged to expand the visitation to fit the best interests of the child(ren). Visitation is further allowed as otherwise agreed by the parties.