5 Surprising reasons why divorce is good
While there are undoubtedly many reasons why divorce is beneficial and may be the right solution for you if you are in a bad marriage, there are 5 main reasons why divorce is good:
Life is short.
Although we all would like to live forever, in 2023 that is not a reality. Often married individuals that are incompatible and struggling in their relationships hope to “wait it out” and are hopeful for things to get better, but this life is not a “dress rehearsal” and choosing to endure an unhappy marriage may result in waiting a long time or living an ultimately miserable life.
While many married people may feel the need to stay in their bad marriage and feel guilty due to the vows they took, the truth is that no one knows how long they have on this earth. While some may think it is admirable to stay married, you and your spouse are the only ones actually living your marriage day-to-day.
And only you and your spouse know if there truly is a chance to salvage your marriage and family life.
Otherwise, every day you spend unhappily married to your spouse is another day you could have spent living your life and pursuing a happy, healthy future for you and your whole family.
Divorce can be the answer and the key to your happiness. You can change the trajectory of your life and focus on living life for you and your family.
People are unlikely to change.
It is impossible to know everything about a person before getting married to them and many get married to their spouse after only a short time of knowing them prior.
People are often surprised when they realize their significant other is not the person they understood them to be or wanted them to be when they were married.
The fact is that humans are complex and many have their own “baggage” or trauma that is not apparent to others until after they are married or deeply into a serious relationship.
Many individuals struggle with mental illness, substance abuse issues, anger, and/or have conflicting views on healthy relationships and how a healthy marriage operates.
Some will want to wait for their spouse to change—to be nicer, to get off drugs, stop being verbally or physically abusive, be more supportive, or be a different person altogether.
However, if you choose to wait for your spouse to change, you could be waiting a very long time because many people do not change and others will only change their behavior when they are fully committed to make the changes necessary to implement the changes.
And many spouses do not possess the skills or abilities to actually follow through with changing their behavior.
The definition of behavior is “the way in which one acts or conducts oneself, especially toward others.”
Therefore, expecting someone to change is expecting someone to change the way they are “wired” and change the way they are predisposed to respond to others or certain situations.
Behavior is developed and learned over the course of one’s life, and expecting someone to change certain behaviors is often equivalent to asking them to be a different person entirely.
Divorce can allow you to end an unhealthy marriage, have a life without your spouse that is not dependent on another’s ability to change, and/or pursue a healthy relationship with another individual.
Childhood is important.
Divorce can facilitate a better life for your family and allow your children involved to thrive. It is no secret that children learn life lessons in their youth and develop the skills they will need to take them into adulthood.
Many adults often struggle with trauma from their childhood, including arguments and fights they witnessed, abuse, and other forms of mistreatment involving their own parents.
By taking the action of getting a divorce, you are ending your children’s exposure to a potentially unhealthy relationship and stopping them from being affected by your own marriage and adult decisions, thereby improving your life, as well as your children’s lives.
Marital Finances have long-lasting consequences.
In marriage, finances become intermingled and decisions are made that will continue to affect both parties into their futures, whether the parties remain married or ultimately divorce.
Finances and debts incurred during a marriage are up for division in the divorce process. Sometimes the best option for a party is to go ahead and file for divorce in order to prevent one’s exposure financially or to prevent financial ruin.
Failure to file for divorce timely will continue to lengthen the time of the marriage. A longer marriage in certain situations could lead to an award of alimony, additional marital debt, and/or more money and assets to be divided in a divorce.
Your mental health.
Your mental health and own happiness and self-confidence matter. It is important to not condone bad behavior and normalize mistreatment.
Regularly, a spouse struggling in his or her unhappy marriage tends to allow their spouse to abuse or mistreat them because it was commonplace in their marriage, and may continue to allow the abuse to happen for years before realizing there is the option of life apart.
Divorce allows people to live apart from their former spouse, on their own, or to choose a new significant other that has life goals and a desire for mutual respect that align with their own desires for the same.
Being unhappy or mistreated in your marriage is not healthy or likely to bring you contentment in your life.
There are many positive outcomes from a divorce when you compare your well-being during a bad marriage to your renewed sense of life post-divorce.
There are positive effects of a divorce both for you and your kids involved in the marriage. Divorce can lead to opportunities for personal growth and a new sense of life for you, your children, and your former partner.
Author: Walter Gewin
Attorney Walter Gewin is a native of Mobile, Alabama. After graduation from law school, Walter clerked for Circuit Court Judge John Lockett before pursuing a career in the private practice of law. Initially, practicing a wide variety of law; Walter’s practice has become more focused on family law, including juvenile, probate, and domestic relations matters. Walter also currently serves as a certified Guardian Ad Litem in Dependency, Delinquency, and Domestic Relations matters.