Once you’ve made the decision to get divorced, you’ll find a lot of logistical questions that need to be handled.  Figuring out how to divide property can be one of the most challenging.  You may have a lifetime’s worth of household goods, garage items, and so forth.  If you haven’t been together long, it’s less of a challenge, but it is still easy to get distracted by arguing over small things. It’s sort of like the difficulty of moving (what do I bring, what do I get rid of?), except that two people are making new starts separately.

When a client hires us to handle their divorce, one of the first things we do is give them worksheets to fill out.  These worksheets include information about financial assets, real estate, debts, and other assets such as vehicles.  One of the worksheets that seems to stump our clients frequently is the worksheet called “Household Goods.”  They start thinking about their favorite spoon or the special edition Keurig they want.  But the best way to approach this is to think in categories.

It’s easiest to just start by making lists – this is not a particularly emotional or high-conflict activity, so it eases you into the process.  For an uncontested divorce, it might work best for each person to make lists separately and then sit down and have a conversation about them.  For a contested divorce, make your own list and share it with your attorney.

Again, think of categories, not individual small items.  Who gets the kitchen stuff?  Are you dividing it equally or leaving it with the person who gets the house?  How about the garage?  Attic?  Clearly you will be keeping your personal items, such as clothing, toiletries, jewelry, and so forth.   Typically, all of the children’s items will go with the parent with physical custody if there are children.   

Then start thinking about bigger items or collections:

• What did each of you bring into the relationship?  Who had the motorcycle?  Who had the Pokemon collection?  Who furnished the home? What furniture or art came down through your family as an heirloom?  Typically, the appliances will stay with the house, whether the house goes to one party or ends up being sold.

• People can sometimes get into conflicts about gifts.  They might want the gifts back that they gave, especially high-value ones.  Nobody has to return gifts that were willingly given, whether we are talking about diamond earrings or a PS5.  Under Alabama law, wedding rings are considered gifts, so each party keeps their own rings.

• What did you buy together after marriage?  These kinds of items are often up for negotiation since they are a shared asset.  Sometimes people want to keep the things their families gave them for a wedding gift, but these are jointly owned.

• What do you absolutely NOT want to give up?  These tend to be sentimental items, or rare collector items, but it could also be your favorite chair.  Think hard about what you are willing to go to the mat for.

• What do you want but are willing to negotiate/swap?   You want the sofa, but really you can live without it if you get the recliner, for example.

One thing to remember is that your ex-spouse will not be obligated to give you anything not specifically listed in your divorce agreement.  So while I am saying not to get hung up on small things, be sure to put the things that you absolutely, positively want to keep into your divorce agreement. Your attorney will help you figure out how to achieve a balance.

If you or your attorney are negotiating this part of the agreement, here’s some advice:

• Do not fight over forks and spoons and coffeemakers.  If it’s replaceable, let it go.  (The exception to forks and spoons might be a collection inherited from a family member, such as your grandmother’s sterling silver.)

• Understand the value of sentimental things to your spouse, even if you think they’re being ridiculous or dramatic.  People have emotional connections to all sorts of things that don’t make sense to others.  This is not the time to judge or argue over those feelings.

• Do not be vengeful and fight over things you really don’t care about. We always hear stories about the wronged wife who fought for her husband’s precious sports car, only to turn around and sell it for a dollar to someone else. There’s a fantastic scene in the movie High Fidelity where a woman offers to sell her cheating husband’s record collection to a record store owner for pennies on the dollar. These stories can be satisfying in their way, but it’s not advisable to seek vengeance during this process.  It just elevates the conflict level.  The less conflict there is in this process, the more quickly and peacefully you’ll get to the finish line. Don’t forget that you are paying your attorney for the time they spend negotiating.

• Consider the monetary value of an item in relation to how much you are paying your attorney to fight for it. Do you really want to spend $1000 to win an argument over an item worth $500?  Do you really want to spend time and energy on something that is ultimately replaceable?  Try to maintain perspective on what is most valuable to you, personally.

• Aside from household goods, think about vehicles such as boats or motorcycles, lawn equipment, and expensive power tools.  Who really uses these the most?  That person should take on any associated debt if they want to keep them.  If they’re paid for and reasonably valuable, they’ll become part of the financial settlement process.

The household goods and property division tends to be in constant flux during the divorce process as people start thinking more intensely about dividing their household.  That’s fine!  This is one of the reasons you need to start early. Your thinking about what you really want may change over time.

Sometimes people are so eager to get out of the marriage, that they’re willing to leave everything in the house. Sometimes they are absolutely adamant about a long list of goods they wish to keep.  Our job is to help you get a fair and equitable share of your property.  You may have to do some compromising, but it’ll be worth it in the end.

Whether you’re ready to start the process of divorce or are just at the beginning of thinking about it, we are here to consult with you.  Our consultations include a review of your case, your options, and what to expect from the process.   We know most people have never had to work with an attorney before, and we understand that you have a lot of questions.   Call the office at 251-432-7909 or click here to book a consultation.

Author: Jill Chancey

Jill Chancey is a New Orleans native who has called Mobile home since 2019.  She attended Trinity University in San Antonio, majoring in Art History and English.  She also has an MA and a PhD in Art History.  After earning a certificate in Paralegal Studies, she pivoted to the legal profession after several decades as an art historian.  In her free time she enjoys science fiction, art museums, and collecting and reselling vintage design.