When people are considering divorce and they have a family, one of the most common questions we hear is how to get divorced with kids involved.

Unfortunately getting divorced is often a difficult experience for all family members, which often includes the children of the marriage.

However, there are ways to lessen the involvement and limit the trauma experienced by children due to the divorce.

Children are technically not parties to divorce proceedings; however, custody, visitation for the non-custodial parent, and child support are all matters covered in divorce. Therefore children’s involvement and their knowledge of the same must be taken into account by the divorcing parties.

Undoubtedly, the best course of action is to not involve children in their parents’ divorce. As divorce is an adult matter, unnecessarily involving minor children in the process can have harmful effects on minor children. The children are more than likely not equipped with the ability to understand the divorce and how they as children are involved.

Children’s well-being should be prioritized during this often difficult transition and professional help, including therapy, utilized if needed.

Because the parties will ultimately be divorced from one another either through an agreement or through the ultimate trial, children must have the tools that they need to cope and be successful with their parents’ new custody and visitation arrangement as ordered by the Court.

In some cases, there can be another layer of complexity involved, necessitating the appointment of a Guardian Ad Litem to represent the children’s best interests in the divorce case.

Guardian Ad Litems can help advocate for the minor children’s best interests, examine the evidence presented in the case, cross-examine witnesses, and give a recommendation to the Court regarding custody and visitation.

The Court can appoint a Guardian Ad Litem at their discretion when requested by either party. However, the involvement of a Guardian Ad Litem is not always necessary and is more common when there are allegations of abuse, drug use, criminal activity, and other concerns present.

When parents are divorcing, it is important to remember that more than likely both adults will have a role to play in the children’s lives post-divorce until the children become adults and reach the age of majority (19 years old), whether that be having custody or regular visitation with the children.

Therefore, a level of civility is necessary to continually co-parent children, attend school/extracurricular functions together for the children, jointly participate in the children’s medical care, and communicate effectively with the other parent.

Divorce can be a great opportunity for both parties to start anew and utilize efficient and practical co-parenting skills to best promote their minor children’s best interests and position them for success.

Children should be allowed to be children and not feel responsible for their parent’s divorce or be forced to be a part of the legal proceedings.

Working together to successfully co-parent the minor children is in everyone’s best interest and helps ensure that the focus remains on the minor children.

Author: Walter Gewin

Attorney Walter Gewin is a native of Mobile, Alabama. After graduation from law school, Walter clerked for Circuit Court Judge John Lockett before pursuing a career in the private practice of law. Initially, practicing a wide variety of law; Walter’s practice has become more focused on family law, including juvenile, probate, and domestic relations matters. Walter also currently serves as a certified Guardian Ad Litem in Dependency, Delinquency, and Domestic Relations matters.