The holidays can be one of the most emotionally charged times of year—especially for those newly divorced or separated. In a recent episode of the Herlihy Family Law Podcast, attorney Alison Herlihy sat down with her colleagues, attorneys Anna Eden and Walter Gewin, to discuss how divorced parents and individuals can navigate the holiday season with greater ease, clarity, and peace of mind. Together, they shared practical and emotional strategies to help families create meaningful celebrations, even amidst major life transitions.

1. Acknowledge That Things Will Be Different

One of the biggest adjustments after divorce is realizing that the holidays will look and feel different. Parents may find themselves celebrating without their children on certain days or attending family gatherings alone for the first time. Accepting this new reality helps reduce disappointment and opens the door to new, meaningful traditions. Recognizing that change doesn’t mean loss—but opportunity—can help make the season more enjoyable.

2. Plan Ahead and Communicate Clearly

Most divorce decrees include a detailed holiday visitation schedule. Reviewing that schedule well in advance prevents misunderstandings and ensures that both parents are on the same page. When changes arise—such as a special family event or travel plan—communication is key. Any adjustments should be agreed upon in writing, with clear details about times, locations, and exchanges. Planning early not only minimizes last-minute stress but also allows both parents to better prepare their children for what to expect.

3. Focus on the Children’s Experience

During and after divorce, children need stability and reassurance more than ever. Parents can make the holidays special by focusing on what matters most to their kids—time together, love, and connection—rather than sticking to old traditions. It’s also important to shield children from adult conflicts and avoid using them as emotional support. Keeping interactions with the other parent respectful, especially during shared events, helps children feel secure and loved by both sides of their family.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries with Family and Friends

Extended family members may struggle to adapt to new traditions or custody schedules. Setting clear expectations early can help manage disappointment and prevent uncomfortable situations. Communicating openly—while maintaining privacy about personal matters—helps loved ones understand and respect new boundaries. When approached with empathy and firmness, these conversations can help make gatherings less stressful and more enjoyable for everyone involved.

5. Create New Traditions

Starting new traditions is one of the best ways to make the holidays feel joyful again. Whether that’s celebrating on a different day, planning a trip, or introducing a new family activity, embracing change can help parents and children look forward to the season. Different doesn’t have to mean worse—it can mean exciting, fresh, and full of new possibilities.

6. Manage Emotions and Prioritize Self-Care

The first holiday season after divorce can stir up feelings of loneliness, grief, or nostalgia. Taking care of one’s mental and emotional health is vital. This might include seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist, spending time on hobbies, or simply allowing quiet time for rest and reflection. For some, this may also be a chance to reassess life goals and move into the new year with a renewed sense of purpose.

7. Handle Conflict Calmly and Constructively

If the other parent doesn’t follow the agreed-upon schedule, it’s best to stay calm and document the issue. Escalating conflict in the moment—especially in front of children—can do more harm than good. Minor sacrifices made to preserve the peace can pay off in the long run. Afterwards, consulting an attorney to address violations through proper legal channels is the best way to ensure future compliance.

8. Be Thoughtful About Introducing New Partners

Introducing a new partner or stepparent can be a sensitive step. Parents should consult their court agreements to ensure compliance with any relevant provisions and be transparent with the other parent when the time comes. Ideally, introductions should happen gradually—and not for the first time during high-pressure holiday gatherings. Children benefit most from stability and from knowing that any new relationships in their lives are healthy and long-term.

9. Keep Perspective and Stay Positive

Above all, maintaining a positive outlook can make a world of difference. The attorneys emphasized that while life after divorce may look different, it can still be full of joy, love, and meaningful connections. With time, planning, and communication, families can build new holiday memories that feel just as special as the old ones.

Moving Forward

Navigating the holidays after divorce isn’t easy—but with the right mindset and preparation, it can be an opportunity for growth and renewal. If you need help understanding or modifying your custody and visitation arrangements before the holidays, the team at Herlihy Family Law can help.

Visit herlihyfamilylaw.com to learn more or listen to the full discussion on The Herlihy Family Law Podcast for additional guidance from Alison Herlihy, Anna Eden, and Walter Gewin.