The First Steps to Take When Getting a Divorce

The First Steps to Take When Getting a Divorce

Divorce is an overwhelming and emotional process, to say the least. Many people who get divorced have never and will never have any other interaction with the legal system.  All of your friends and family, with the best intentions, suddenly become divorce “experts” and are ready to weigh in with what they think you need to do!

First of all, if you feel safe and comfortable doing so, talk with your spouse. If you are on the same page, you may be able to resolve your divorce without litigation, which will ultimately be much less costly and stressful in the long run.

Seriously consider speaking with a counselor or therapist, even if you have never done that in your life. When you have been in an unhealthy relationship for a long time, it becomes difficult to trust your own reality, so it really helps to weigh out this important decision with someone who is well-trained and objective. A therapist can go a long way with helping you develop the communication strategies and confidence to get through what might be one of the most difficult times in your life.

Familiarize yourself with your finances and know where your important papers are, or obtain copies of them. Some examples of important papers are birth certificates, wills, deeds, tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements and credit card statements. When you are getting divorced, it is of utmost importance to know your own income and your spouse’s income, what you have, and who and what you owe! If you are concerned there may be debts you don’t know about, you need to run your credit report to make sure your spouse has not used your information to obtain credit in your name.

Be aware that, if divorce is imminent, then you and your spouse will be adversaries in a lawsuit and they may not have your best interests at heart. They may be trying to maneuver or obtain evidence to gain a tactical advantage against you in the case. Be aware that they could be recording you via audio or video, or even monitoring your email or social media accounts if they have access to your passwords. Everything you say, do, or post on the internet could potentially be evidence in your case, so be smart and cautious about what you say, do, and post.

Above all else, get your own independent legal advice by consulting with a lawyer, even if your divorce is “amicable.” Your own lawyer is the only person whose job it is to zealously advocate for you and protect your best interests.

What is the Difference Between Legal Custody and Physical Custody?

What is the Difference Between Legal Custody and Physical Custody?

Alabama Code §30-3-157 is known as Alabama’s “Joint Custody” statute and it defines the different types of legal and physical custody in our state.  This statute sets out our state policy as follows:

 It is the policy of this state to assure that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage. Joint custody does not necessarily mean equal physical custody.

As you might imagine, there are a lot of misconceptions about what joint custody means versus what state law actually says.  It is for this reason that any time a client tells me they and their spouse want to agree to joint custody, I ask the question, “what does joint custody mean to you?”

Joint Custody means that the parents have both joint legal and joint physical custody.

Joint Legal Custody means both parents have equal rights and responsibilities for major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training. The court may designate one parent to have sole power to make certain decisions while both parents retain equal rights and responsibilities for other decisions.  If one parent has sole or primary physical custody, that parent ends up being the final decision-maker if there is a dispute.

Joint Physical Custody means physical custody is shared by the parents in a way that assures the child frequent and substantial contact with each parent. Joint physical custody does not necessarily mean physical custody of equal durations of time.  This is the definition according to state law.  In our jurisdiction, joint physical custody almost always refers to custody arrangements where the parenting time is shared on an equal, 50/50 basis, in some fashion.

Sole Legal Custody means one parent has sole rights and responsibilities to make major decisions concerning the child, including, but not limited to, the education of the child, health care, and religious training.  Sole legal custody is typically only ordered if the other parent is a danger to the child.

Sole Physical Custody, is more commonly referred to as “physical custody” or “primary physical custody” means one parent has sole physical custody and the other parent has rights of visitation except as otherwise provided by the court.

Top 4 reasons you should hire a lawyer for your divorce

Top 4 reasons you should hire a lawyer for your divorce

Top 4 reasons you should hire a lawyer for your divorce

In recent years, there has been a proliferation of DIY divorce websites. These sites advertise a one-size fits all divorce package that is supposedly compliant with the local laws in any jurisdiction. If you try to DIY your divorce, you will purchase a set of forms that you are responsible for filling out and filing yourself with the Court. No one can give you legal advice or answer any substantive questions you have about the process.

Time and time again, I have had clients who have come to me after attempting a DIY divorce, only to find that the package they purchased from the website is not in compliance with local rules and requirements.

 

If your DIY divorce package is not in compliance with local requirements, neither the Clerk nor the Judge will be able to explain to you what you need to do to amend your paperwork because they are not allowed to give you legal advice. Only a lawyer can give you legal advice.

 

Worst of all, clients often have their cases dismissed entirely because they cannot determine how to properly amend their paperwork, losing all the money they have invested in the DIY paperwork and their filing fee in the process. If you hire a lawyer to fix documents that were incorrectly filed in the first place, it could end up costing you more money than if you had hired a lawyer from the beginning.

In addition to the above technical reasons, a lawyer can help give you guidance based on their training and experience to help to navigate one of the most difficult times in your life. A lawyer can help you if you are being bullied or coerced into agreeing to something that is not in your best interests. Your lawyer is your advocate.

What is the Difference Between Legal Separation and Divorce?

What is the Difference Between Legal Separation and Divorce?

A Legal Separation and a Divorce are almost identical in the fact that the procedures are the same, child custody and support can be awarded, and assets and debts will be divided in both; however, at the end of the process of Legal Separation, you remain married to your spouse. A Legal Separation is rarely necessary or beneficial for most people because if you obtain a legal separation and decide later that you want to get divorced, after all, you have to go through the time and expense of the Court process twice. Some notable exceptions might be if a party has religious beliefs that do not allow for divorce, or if a party has a chronic illness that makes obtaining their own health Insurance cost-prohibitive or impossible. If parties know they will never want to get remarried again, a Legal Separation may suffice for them.

Both Legal Separation and Divorce can be handled in a contested or uncontested matter, but both parties have to agree for a Legal Separation to be ordered. If one spouse wants a legal separation and one spouse wants a Divorce, the Court will grant a divorce. If you and your spouse are having trouble and could benefit from some time apart, you can separate without obtaining a Legal Separation.

How to get divorced in Mobile, Alabama

How to get divorced in Mobile, Alabama

How to get divorced in Mobile, Alabama

Here in Mobile County, our divorce court is called Domestic Relations Court. The Domestic Relations clerk’s office is located on the 9th floor of Mobile Government Plaza and the Courtrooms are located on the 2nd floor.

We have two judges who handle all of the Divorce and Post-Divorce cases, as well as all Petitions for Protection From Abuse (PFAs). Post-Divorce means all matters related to the enforcement or modification of prior divorce orders.

These judges are the Hon. Walter H. Honeycutt and Hon. Michael D. Sherman. These judges preside over what is probably the busiest court in the state, hearing thousands of cases per year each related to Alabama divorce laws.

There are a few types of divorce including contested divorce, uncontested divorce, and no fault divorce. If your divorce is handled in an uncontested divorce manner, where the parties agree on all terms, your divorce agreement must be on file with the Court for 30 days, then the judge can grant your divorce.

If your case must be handled in a contested manner, where discovery of information is done on both sides and the case is eventually set for trial, it typically took a case an average of 12 months to get to trial. This is when aspects such as child custody and marital property are decided.

Today, trial settings are significantly slower due to the COVID-19 crisis. As such, more cases are being referred to other avenues to assist in settling disputes, including the appointment of Special Masters to resolve discovery disputes and Mediation to try to achieve settlement of the entire case.

More information about Mobile County Domestic Relations Court and Alabama divorce courts, including the Court’s Parenting Guidelines and the Court’s Pretrial Order, can be found on their official website, here: https://mobile.alacourt.gov/domestic-relations/.